A Time for Transformation

2020 has given us more challenges in the space of a few months than we usually get in decade.

For some of us, this is the most amount of time we’ve spent at home with our families. For others, it’s the most amount of time we’ve spent alone. Some of us have never felt this calm, rested and energised. Others are struggling with boredom, unhappiness and exhaustion.

We are all facing our own unique challenges for a reason – they are the lessons we most need to learn.

And no, the universe did not give us this global pandemic as a 'punishment.'

It has given us a ‘time out,’ to make us pay attention to what is important. It has given each of us an opportunity to learn what we haven’t learnt yet, but most need to.

In my last isolation post I gave you some practical ideas for making the most of our time at home. Today, I want to get you thinking, and hopefully, embracing change.

What are the valuable lessons you’re learning at the moment? How are we evolving and how can we take these lessons with us?

So why do we need to change, you ask?

Back when the world was functioning, we had very little time to pause, reflect and rest. If you asked someone how they were, usually the answer was ‘busy.’ Or 'tired.' Or 'stressed.' What has the world come to if ‘busy’ is our natural state? If our commitments, work and errands trump being happy, healthy and grounded?

You see, the world had become addicted to distractions. Social media, reality TV, working late into the evenings, planning social gatherings all weekend. We filled every waking moment with something. Even when watching a movie with our family, there was still that itch to reach for our phone.

Why? We craved stimulation and wanted to be occupied constantly. We were uncomfortable with being still.

All these distractions have robbed us of the ability to just be. To sit alone with ourselves. To recognise and embrace our emotions. To be fully connected to our families. To absorb the energy of nature around us.

So the universe decided that it was going to wake us up. To shake us up.

This is a time for us to change.

Isolation is not just about staying home until the government tells us we can go back to normal and resume the life we were living before.

No, this is about really looking at our lives and re-evaluating how we choose to live them. It's about asking yourself the tough questions - the ones we usually avoid, the ones we "don't have time for" because we make ourselves always busy. The type of deep thinking that we run away from and instead turn to distractions.

This is a period of self love, pause, and contemplation. An opportunity to go inwards, to slow down, to shift, and to release.

So here are some of the questions I want you to ask yourself.

What things from the past do I need to let go of? What wounds do I need to mend? What am I most afraid to confront within myself? How can I tend to my needs?

And remember, if you’re experiencing a lot of fear and suffering right now, this is the start of your learning process. It’s the beginning of the transformation you’re going through.

So I want you to identify what is causing you discomfort, and accept that as your spiritual assignment. The changes we are most resistant to, which cause us the most distress and pain, are the lessons we most need to learn. The things that trigger you are going to make you change and grow the most.

Is it a relationship? An expectation or commitment? Something from the past you've been holding on to? Something in the future you can't relinquish control of? A quality that you see in yourself?

For some of us, that big lesson we most need to learn is how to be alone. Letting go of the need to constantly be a part of something and fear of being left behind. Because the truth is, you'll only get to understand yourself if you spend time with yourself. You may be a social butterfly, but believe me when I say this - self-care, self-compassion and self-esteem are built when you're alone.

For others, it’s realising that the dream job, big house and expensive car are not where we should be putting our energy. Energy that is spent wasted on defining ‘success’ and agonising over ‘failure.’ Energy that could better be spent finding where our passions lie and what brings us joy - even if they're not as glamorous or prosperous as we once wanted.

Whatever that lesson is, now is the time you’re going to learn it.

I’ll share with you what I have learnt.

Personally, I haven’t felt this balanced and rested in a long time. Call me old-fashioned if you want, but I really love this concept of ‘home-based living.’ I’m very, very fortunate to have the home and backyard space that I do. And I’m very grateful for the work, hobbies and projects that I am perfectly happy occupying myself with at home. I have become more appreciative of those few times I do leave the house for a change of scenery (to exercise, of course). I love a simple life with minimal things on my plate.

I’ve reflected on how a busy schedule interferes with my happiness and health. The itch to fit in activities everywhere, the restlessness when I hadn’t left the house: they were all cravings for distraction.

And I’ve chosen to release them.

Now: the most important part of the transformation we're going through is to take these lessons and reshape how we want our lives to look post-COVID19.

So, I’ve chosen more stillness and slowness. Yes, I’ll be glad to catch up with friends and go travelling when we leave isolation behind - those things bring me happiness. But I’ll also continue living with more space and relaxation in my days. I'll lessen expectations on myself to be constantly productive and on-the-go. I'll spend more time at home, with my family and alone.

And you know what? I probably wouldn’t have learnt this lesson if the earth hadn’t thrown us into this massive upheaval. It may sound wrong to express gratitude for a pandemic, but look at the opportunity it has given us to relax and re-evaluate. That's something to be grateful for.

So use this isolation period to learn – this time has been given to us for a reason.

This is how we can learn to overcome our need for distraction and cherish the small, simple moments that bring us happiness:

Use it to become more patient – slow down your days, take time to cook family meals, stretch out chores and errands instead of rushing to finish them in one day.

Use it to become more grateful – for your health, home, family. Look for one small thing each day that made you thankful to be on this earth.

Use it to become more still and silent – eat a meal with no TV or phone, go for walks by yourself, sit alone with your thoughts, read or paint with nothing in the background.

And use it to become more aware of your connection with others – re-evaluate the people in your life and consider who has your best interests at heart. Treasure your loved ones and release the not-so-lovely ones.

So if you’ve started to cherish your slower mornings and build things into your day that make you happy, then you are doing exactly as the universe intended. You’re accepting the changes that are happening and learning to cultivate happiness.

But if you’re clinging on to your old habits, if you’re feeling resistant, resentful or lost, or just ‘waiting’ until you can get back to your life, I want you to reconsider. Try to really embrace the opportunity we’ve been given. This time is a gift, so don’t waste it by ignoring the changes happening within you.

You may even be feeling a sense of dread for when things return to ‘normal.’ Are you going to miss the simple days at home? The time you’ve dedicated to creativity? The little things you notice on your walks?

But these things that make you feel happy and balanced do not have to go away. Once you have your freedom back, it will be tempting to launch into your previously hectic lifestyle. So we need to hold on to the lessons we’ve learned. The stillness, connection and simplicity that we thrived upon. Hold on to these visions of a new future.

And let’s not aim to 'get back to normal.' Let’s aim for something bigger, more heart-centred and fulfilling.

After this, we will never be the same. I never want to go back to a life that is defined by being busy, stressed, tired and tense.

I want to create space in my life, so that I feel more connected to myself and those around me. And I want to nurture that community spirit that has grown – the generosity we are all showing each other, the smiles we are giving everyone we pass.

So let’s make a new normal.

In this new way of living, we’ll be present, mindful and calm. We’ll be comfortable with simplicity and able to reflect on our emotions and needs. We’ll know ourselves in a way that can only be achieved by taking the time to be alone and dive deep.

Let in those lessons that need to be learned, despite the fear you might be feeling.

What are you going to let go of? How are you going to embrace the things that are important to you? How are you going to change?

The answer is be closer than you think.

(Hint: it’s inside you.)